A View from Christopher Mims
The 10 Most Hilariously Geeky Fake Twitter Streams
Fake Twitter accounts are satire elevated to its highest expression.
In an age in which fans of The Daily Show shows are among the most informed citizens in the U.S. and The Onion doesn’t have to break character in order to report real news without embellishment, it’s clear that humor has become one of the primary ways an informed citizenry stays that way.
In addition to helping pass the workday and making you more creative, the following fake Twitter accounts also serve the purpose that satire always has: tweaking the self-serious keepers of the status quo.
Good for: Cleantech geeks, VC junkies, Silicon Valley types and their hangers-on; anyone who knows who Vinod Khosla is.
Looks like #facebook no longer cares about bleeding edge technology. Opening engineering office in NYC. (rolling eyes in 360 degree fashion)
Good for: Fans of Danger Room, robots or UAVs, as well as National Security wonks, hawks, doves and anyone else who thinks too much about the Military-Industrial Complex.
Iowa #ows protesters will occupy a planned police UAV factory site. In related news, UAV makers thank #ows for the marketing.
Good for: Software developers, IT staff, weekend coders, anyone who reads Slashdot and thinks it’s still funny to yell “IZ NICE!”
I manage of automate everything! Now I am so bored I am volunteer time as desktop support.
Good for: Fans of Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar and/or his trademark bolo tie.
Drugs? No, Ken’s never done drugs. Unless you count clean Rocky Mountain air and the natural high of wearing a sharp bolo tie and a stetson.
Good for: Physics and space geeks, anyone who can correctly answer the trivia question “Who developed a rocket for Nazi Germany before defecting to America and pioneering its missions into space?”
Today in ‘42, Enrico Fermi initiated the 1st nuclear reaction, in a rackets court. It’s also the only time anyone’s ever heard of “rackets”.
Good for: Paleontologists.
These Christmas sales are rough. I always thought dinosaurs were meaner than humans, but I’ve never devoured anyone to save $20 on a TV set.
Good for: People who are so into Silicon Valley inside baseball that they think it’s hilarious when CrazyDrunkVC cracks jokes about “hunting cougars” at Madera on Sand Hill Road right after skewering the improbable valuation of the latest bay area “It” company.
I GOT THIS ONE!! A STEAL!! $4 billion Valuation Round In Dropbox http://techcrunch.com/2011/08/30/index-leads-4-billion-valuation-round-in-dropbox/
Good for: Academics. People who can’t get enough of the fake Hulk accounts spawned by the original, Drunk Hulk.
PHDS CHOOSE TO BECOME ADJUNCTS IN THE SAME WAY BRUCE BANNER CHOOSE TO BECOME HULK.
Good for: Have you heard of a little movie called Star Wars?
Guys, the best things in life aren’t free. The REAL best things in life cost 15 septillion credits and disintegrate planets.
Good for: Journalists. Anyone who is regularly gobsmacked by the results of real Pew Research surveys. People who always click on links marked NSFW.
People talking to themselves on the bus this morning: 35% Have a phone; 62% Don’t have a phone; 3% Undecided.
Good for: Because we know FakeAPStylebook would want us to, we decided to take this list to 11. Possibly the funniest fake Twitter account there is. Great for word nerds, “social media experts,” or anyone with a pulse who reads above a 12th grade level.
Does your story have anything in it that will terrify an old person? If not, it needs another rewrite.
Got any more? Leave them in the comments.
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