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Genes I wish they would find

Enough with the useless genes. Here are some that would actually come in handy.

October 23, 2018

 

1) Knowing when I will need an umbrella; knowing when I will completely regret bringing an umbrella

2) Ability to talk my way out of a speeding ticket

3) Tolerance for small talk at networking events

4) Ability to mentally drown out the sound of my upstairs neighbor

Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and creator of the satirical blog TheCooperReview.com.

5) Never late

6) Ability to talk my way up to first class

7) Perfect poker face

8) Jeans always fit perfectly

9) Eyes never closed in pictures

10) Ability to only eat one potato chip

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