September 2004

IM, I Said

Continued from page 1

By Simson Garfinkel

IM can also be a huge time waster. Put a few dozen people on your "buddy list," and you'll always have someone who wants to chat -- even when you'd rather not. AOL's software alerts you when your buddies log in and log out. Although it's tempting to drop friends a greeting whenever they appear, being on the receiving end of such attention gets annoying. If you don't learn restraint, you might find yourself blocked -- that is, your IMs will be automatically rejected by friends who are tired of hearing from you. Of course, if your IM buddies shut you down, you can always cruise websites like craigslist, which are filled with "I'm bored; please IM me!" messages from alleged 20-somethings.

Not surprisingly, this kind of unrestricted IM scares many parents -- especially parents of 15-year-old girls eager to pass themselves off on Internet dating sites as 18. Some parents buy programs like ChatBlocker that promise to either block or record all of your IM chats on a particular computer. These programs can give you a false sense of security, though: your teenager can always chat using a friend's computer or a public Internet machine, or even a cell phone.

Parents aren't the only ones looking to control IM. FaceTime Communications markets a program for businesses, called IM Auditor, that will record IM between employees, limit who can IM whom, and automatically interrupt chats that stray into unacceptable subject areas. (The product's ostensible purpose is to help companies comply with federal regulations that define what information can be communicated over the Internet and what needs to be preserved for auditors.)

Smart companies want to control instant messaging but not destroy it, because IM is tremendously useful. For example, you can arrange for several people to participate in the same conversation, saving a lot of message relaying that undermines clear communications. My wife participates in an online writer's group; its members get together at a predetermined time once a month in a chat room and discuss each other's work. Trying to do this by e-mail, with its lack of immediate give-and-take, would produce very different results -- or none at all.

That's why many educators say that it's better to teach your kids about the potential dangers of hooking up with strangers than to try to use technical means to restrict their communications in the first place. You might even teach them some good time management and IM etiquette while you're at it. In a future increasingly filled with instant-messaging opportunities, that's a skill that they -- and you -- will find vital.